If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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