My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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