I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
