Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
