Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
