butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize