would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
