i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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