I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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