Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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