she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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