he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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