You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
