Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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