It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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