Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
