Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
