from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
