A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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