i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
