Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
