He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize