Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
