she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
