Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
