i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
