She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
