margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
dude. I can hear the air.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
