your room smells of hookers.
And success
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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