You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
