I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
