whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize