I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize