Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
