Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
