i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize