Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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