def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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