I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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