i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
