just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize