hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
