I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He shit in the fireplace
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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