you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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