Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
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