No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize