That's when you crack a 10am beer
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
