Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
