Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
