Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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