THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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