just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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