So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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