I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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