You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize