I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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