well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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