I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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