And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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