I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
