Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
