There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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